Difference
by Black Simplicity
Summary: There is a difference between us. I am black, she is white. I am the dog, she is the cat. I am still a child, and she has grown up. We are very different.
1. I hate her

_AHHH. I shouldn't start a new story. But this...this was a random idea. I wanted to post it. D; I will update Winter Air and POSSIBLY Your Song later! This story is short. It's a short story. I don't know what to say._

_Vocaloids do not belong to me._

* * *

><p>That girl.<p>

_That girl._

If I were to do something, they would compare me to _that girl. _

It didn't bother me when I was young. I didn't bother me after that. It bothers me now. It bothers me a lot. It was only normal for people to compare siblings, wasn't it? Was it normal for your parents to favor one over the other?

It was the first time I had my _own _piano recital. I practiced really hard.

I didn't practice hard enough.

I was proud, I was really _really _proud of myself. I did it all…I did it all. Those long hours of practicing, it paid off, did it? No, they compared me to _her. _

She could do it faster. She didn't hesitate. She made it better. It was clear. She made it sound beautiful.

She was better.

Was she better?

She told me that I was good. I didn't believe her.

She looks down on me, as if she were the queen and I were the servant. She probably laughs at how foolish I am for even trying. She probably laughs at my existence.

I don't like her.

It was my birthday. It was her birthday too. I thought on this day, this one day, we would be equal.

I was turning fourteen years old. So was she.

I thought on this one day, we could set aside our differences and become equal to each other.

I was wrong.

They forgot. They forgot about it. They forgot my birthday.

My so called "friends", my so called "family"… they forgot.

But they didn't forget her birthday.

They gave her a party. They gave her gifts. They came for her.

She gave me a smile, and mouthed "Happy Birthday" to me in the crowd of people. They didn't notice.

I didn't smile back. I was terribly upset.

There is a difference between us.

I am Black, she is White.

I am the dog, and she is the cat.

I am still a child, and she has grown up.

We are very different.

If I look in the mirror, I see her face. I hate this face. I don't want to look like her.

If I look in the mirror, I see her hair. The same yellow tone and the same exact length. They said it looked better on her.

If I look in the mirror, I see those eyes. I want to keep them closed. They are not her eyes. They are my eyes.

We are different.

They said our voices were lovely. They liked her voice more.

They said we harmonize well with each other. Do we really? It doesn't seem like that at all. They said our voices were very different and that was why. It doesn't make sense to me.

There was a contest. My so called friends made a contest. A singing contest.

She won.

I don't like her.

I don't like her at all.

She makes me sick.

I am jealous of her.

I know that too well. We mirror each other perfectly, do we? Who is the reflection, and who is the reality?

I am just the reflection. A poor mimic of that girl. I want to become real too.

She is the voice, and I am merely the echo.

She is the person, and I am a shadow.

We are different.

Is there a reason for someone like me to live?

There's two of us. If one of us died…what would happen?

If it were her, they'd panic. They'd be heartbroken. They would blame it on me.

If it were me, nothing would happen. They'd comfort her and say it was okay.

He told me to cheer up. What does he know?

He lives in the shadow of everyone else. He seems to enjoy it. They compare him to everyone else, and he smiles and says he knows his flaws.

Could we be friends? Are we similar?

No, we are different.

He has grown up.

I am still a child.

I'm jealous of him. He can live like this.

I am….who am I?

All I hear is _her _name. Sometimes they call me that name. They look disappointed when they realize that it's me.

"I'm sorry." That phrase. I hear it everyday.

I hear it every time.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry."

"I hate this." They look at me surprised.

They ask me what it is that I hate.

I tell them, I hate her. They look at me funny.

I hate her.

I hate her.

I hate her.

I hate her.

**I hate Rin.**


	2. I liked him better

_This story is short. It's a short story. It's a story filled with short chapters. It's easier to write. I need to get all this tension off. I'll try to update the other stories later. xD _

_For now enjoy. Who is telling this chapter is up to you._

_Vocaloids do not belong to me._

* * *

><p><em><strong>Difference.<strong>_

* * *

><p>He talked about that girl a lot.<p>

He talked _only _about _that girl._

He was jealous of her.

He was the other twin. The one no one paid attention to.

They favored the kind, sociable, polite, and _perfect _sister of his. Her name was Rin.

I liked Rin. I liked her a lot. She was nice. She was very cheerful. I liked her.

I didn't know she had a brother. A twin at that.

She never talked about it. No one ever talked about it. Was I the only one who didn't know? Why didn't she tell me? I wanted to meet him. Was he like her? Were they the same?

No. They were different.

They were very different.

He seemed sad all the time. He looked lonely.

Why was that?

I want to know.

He had a piano recital. So did she. They had it on the same day.

He did wonderfully. I could tell that he practiced hard. He did better than her, in my opinion.

They criticized him. They compared him to that girl.

His name was Len.

It was his birthday. It was her birthday too. She was the "older" of the two. They would turn fourteen years old that day.

They gave her a party. They came for her. Where was he? What about Len?

He was invisible.

He stood in the shadows. He is her shadow.

He is nothing but her shadow.

She left him in the darkness. I wonder…does she care about her brother? Does she?

It doesn't even seem so.

She had a beautiful and sweet voice. He had a beautiful and sweet voice. They were very different. They sounded well together.

I don't like her voice without his.

That girl can only shine because that boy is by her side. Does she realize that? Does he realize that?

Do they all realize that? Without him, she will be nothing.

Or will she?

They had a singing contest. Everyone did. I wanted him to win...she won. It was decided from the start, wasn't it?

I told him to cheer up. He brushed me off. I want to help you.

I can't say that out loud.

I'm the same as you. I live in the shadows of everyone else too. But the others can not shine unless I give them the support. So, I am happy with this life.

Do you not understand?

She talked about herself a lot.

She talked _only _about _herself._

I asked her about her brother.

"Who?" she says, as if she does not know who that is.

"Len" I reply. She looks away and does not answer.

"He doesn't matter." She replies.

"Why?" I ask.

"He doesn't matter anymore. He's not my brother." She replies.

She is heartless. I learned that. She doesn't care about him. He cares about her. He doesn't want to care, but he cares. She does not.

They are the same.

They are different.

There were two siblings. They were twins at that.

They were named Rin and Len.

"Rin."

That's the name I hear called out.

I never hear Len. I hear 'Sorry' and 'It was a mistake' too many times.

He tells me;

"I hate her."

"I hate this."

"I hate her."

It makes my blood boil.

I like her.

I like her a lot.

I like her.

I like her.

I like Rin.

I like her.

I like her.

I like her.

I liked her.

**I like him better.**


	3. I envy him

_I swear I'm working on the other stories. Do not hit me please. |D_

_Vocaloids do not belong to me._

* * *

><p><strong><em><span>Difference.<span>_**

* * *

><p>Who am I?<p>

_Who _am _I_?

I had a brother. He was my twin brother. He was nice. He was a good person. He was a very happy person.

I wish I could be happy like him.

I really admired my brother.

We grew up.

We were getting older.

I don't like him. I don't admire him.

He is not nice anymore. He is not a good person anymore. He is not happy anymore.

I wish I could understand why he's changed.

I pity my brother.

He's an eyesore.

I wish he didn't exist. I hate him. I hope he disappears forever. I wish I was the only one.

I want him gone.

I want him gone now.

I am better than him. I know I am. They tell me that too. I know I am.

I don't like him.

He tries too hard. He tries too hard to get them to notice. Why try? They won't care. How foolish.

It was the night of the piano recital. I had practiced really hard.

He played it well. He played it beautifully.

We played the same song. I want to play like him. That's all I could think about.

Stupid.

I was stupid.

I did it better. I outshined him once again. Good. That's the way it should be. I will always be better than him.

I am better than him.

I told him he did well. He looked upset by that comment. It made me feel happy. Should that be wrong? Shouldn't I feel bad? No. I'm not a good person either.

My birthday. It's my birthday. It's just my birthday. It belongs to only me.

I was turning fourteen. I felt older already.

He was turning fourteen too. It's not his birthday.

They forgot about him. They remembered me. They forgot about him.

That's the way it should be. Even my lovely parents forgot. How funny.

How foolish he was. He told me he wanted to become equal on this special day.

Of course that would never happen. We aren't equal.

I am the queen, you are the servant. Serve me, as I treat you badly. I am higher than you. He should know his place.

"Happy Birthday" I whisper to him. He's standing alone, staring. He looks upset.

We are different.

I am white, and he is black.

I am the cat, and he is the dog.

I am still a child, and he has grown up.

We are very different.

But we are the same.

If I look in the mirror, I see my face. I don't look like him anymore.

If I look in the mirror, I see my hair. If I tie it up, I see my hair. They say that our hair is similar…they said it looks bad on him.

If I look in the mirror, I see those eyes. I want to shatter that mirror with a hammer. They are not my eyes. They are his eyes.

We are different.

They said I had a cute and unique voice. They said it was lovely. They said the same to him. It was obvious whose was more favored. We harmonize well. We do not.

There was a contest. It was really fun! Everyone did well! So very well.

I won. It was decided from the start that I would win. It made him mad.

Good.

I don't like him.

I don't like him at all.

He makes me sick.

I want to kill him.

The feeling is strong. I know it's not a good thing. I know it too well.

We mirror each other perfectly. I am reality, he is the reflection. To think about how easy it would be if I could shatter that reflection to little pieces.

I am the voice, he is the echo.

I am the person, he is the shadow.

An echo can continue on forever, but a voice has to stop sooner or later.

An echo does not need a voice later to carry on. It just needs one…and it will stretch forever.

A shadow is much larger than the person. It can stretch to unbelievable heights.

That is how we are different.

Is there a reason for both of us to exist?

If I were to die, what would happen? They would hate him.

If he were to die, then all would be right.

A friend asked me about my brother.

Why would you care about him when no one else does? Are you foolish too?

"Who?" I ask. That's right. I don't know who he is anymore.

"Len." He answers. It's been a while since I've heard that name..

Len..

"He doesn't matter." I answer. It's true. He doesn't.

"Why?" He asks. Why?

..Why?

"He doesn't matter anymore. He's not my brother." I reply. It's true. He's not my brother.

He couldn't possibly be siblings with such a cold person like me.

They mistaken him for me. It's obvious who is who.

They still mistaken him for me.

"I'm sorry. I seemed to have gotten mixed up with your brother. I hope you don't mind."

I don't mind. That boy has my face. I want my face back.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

It's happened too many times.

"Len!" That name is never called out.

Why am I hearing it?

"I'm sorry." He tells me. He's mistaken me for _that boy._

"It's okay." I answer.

"Len is only me, after all, isn't he? He's just my shadow. A shadow and a person…are one, are they not?" He looks at me funny.

"No…you two are different after all!" He answers.

We are different.

"I hate this." He asks me what I hate.

"I hate him." He looks at me surprised.

I hate him.

I hate him.

I hate him.

I hate him.

I hate him.

I hate him.

I hate him.

**I envy him.**


	4. Friend

_Short chapter is short. And incredibly short. And lame._

* * *

><p><strong><em>Difference.<em>**

* * *

><p>I have a lot of friends.<p>

I _had _a lot of _friends._

They aren't my friends.

The only reason why I have them is because I am her shadow.

They don't care about me. They care about her. I bet they don't even know my name. They forgot who I am. They forgot who I was. She took them away from me.

I made friends with her when I was very little. She was really nice and sweet. I liked her. She was a good girl. Her name was Miku. We were really close. We were really close friends.

She met _her._ We are not close friends. She is really close friends with _that girl._ They do everything together.

I made friends with him when I was little. He was mature but he was still kind to me. I liked him. He was a dependable person. I admired him. His name was Kaito. I wish he was my brother. I wish I had him as a sibling instead of her. I wished. I _wished. _

He met _her_. He liked her. He paid attention to her. He forgot about me.

I made friends with her when I was younger. She was obnoxious and rude, but I liked her. Under all that, she was a caring person. Her name was Meiko. We would joke with each other a lot.

She met _her. _We can't joke anymore. We can't become close like that anymore. I wonder…do you hate me now Meiko? She treats me coldly….and she says I am a waste.

I made friends with the two of them when I was young. They were a couple. He was a bit strange, but a very interesting character. She was very beautiful. I liked them a lot. They seemed to love each other so much.

They met _her. _They don't remember me. They hate each other now.

I met her a while ago. She was a happy and cheerful girl. Her name was Gumi. I liked Gumi. She was really cool.

She met _her. _She wants to be like _her. _She's not the same Gumi I knew..

I met them a while ago. They were a group of friends. Her name was Lily, her name was Iroha, her name was Miki. They were a nice group of girls. Friendly, and nice. Each of them were so different, but so unique.

They met _her. _They're struggling to be different again. She took it away from them.

I met him recently. I don't know what his name is. He's weird. He's strange. He's like me. But he accepts it. He's weird.

He met her first. He's still strange.

He's weird.

There are a lot of others. I don't see them a lot. They don't matter anyways. They're the same as everyone.

The same.

The same.

Every day is the same.

Exactly the same.

It does not change.

I wish everything could be like that. Not changing.

That's a stupid thought.

I wake up. I get ready.

I go to school. I go home.

Between those, they compare me to _that _girl.

I don't like her.

I was a good student. I got good grades. I never did anything wrong.

However, she was better.

I'm sure they know I exist. Deep deep down. Deep…deep..

Not deep enough.

Mother. Father. Father. Mother.

Is there a difference?

Is there a difference between them like there is a difference between us?

No. There isn't.

I had a friend. He bothered me a lot.

I don't like him.

He reminds me of her.

I don't like him.

I had a friend.

I met her when I was born.

Her name was Rin.

I liked Rin. I liked her a lot. I loved her. She was my sister, she was my best friend after all. We were inseparable. We were very close. She was nice and sweet and kind and caring.

We grew up.

My best friend died.

She's my friend.

She's my friend.

She's my friend.

She's my friend.

She was my friend.

She's not my friend.

**She's my enemy.**


	5. Destroy

**_Difference._**

* * *

><p>I had a lot of friends.<p>

I _have _a lot of friends.

They are my friends.

That aren't my friends.

I have no friends. I don't need friends.

I don't need them. They need me. They all need me. Without me, they would be nothing. Isn't that right?

They don't care about me, and neither do I. I've forgotten who they are and who they used to be. They've forgotten who I was and who I am…and who I used to be.

These 'friends'…I took them away from him.

That's the way it should be. Everything should be like this…shouldn't it?

He made friends with a girl. She was sweet and nice. She was _too _perfect. I didn't like her. She was a good girl….a good good girl. I wonder if she's still such a 'good' girl. Her name was Miku. They were close. They were really close. They were too close.

She met me. She thinks she's close to me. She believes she holds the position of my best friend. She's foolish. She's really foolish. She wants to do everything with me. Do you still like that boy you used to be so close to? You're crushing him by staying with me.

Foolish.

He made friends with a boy. An older boy. He was mature but he was nice. He's suspicious. He's not a good person. He was twisted. I hated him. I took him away. He met me. He liked me. He's obsessed with me. He's addicted to me. He forgot about that boy. Do you not realize, I helped you? It doesn't matter anyways.

She was older. Her name was Meiko. She was alcoholic. She was annoying. She was rude. I don't like her. I met her. I told her bad things about that boy. I told her lies. Lies about bad things he did. He never did bad things. She hates him now. She despises him. That's the way it should be.

Two people, they seemed to love each other a lot. They loved each other so much, they'd do anything for each other. It made me sick. Whenever I saw them, I felt liked I would vomit. Disgusting. You are utterly disgusting.

This is the way it should be. You two weren't meant to be anyways.

She wants to be like me. That weird Gumi girl. He used to like her a lot. She doesn't even know who he is anymore.

Good.

A group of friends. Friends, you say? Foolishness. They were an eyesore. I dealt with them.

There's a boy. He's weird. He's really weird. He's weird. I don't like him. He's weird. He keeps bringing up that boy. That stupid boy. I hate him. I wish he would disappear!

There are a lot of others. They don't matter. None of them matter!

None of them at all!

Why can't everyone just disappear? The world would be a better place without these people.

Without lies.

Without the pain.

Without the suffering.

Without the love.

Without the hate!

Why does the world have to be so different all the time?

Different.

Different.

Every day is different.

Never the same.

Or is it?

No…it's all the same.

The same.

Every day.

Exactly…exactly the same.

It should be that way, right?

I'm confused.

I don't like this.

Why is everything so hard? It should be easy.

It should be easy!

I want to cry. I want to feel sorry for people. I want to tell someone something good. I want to laugh. I want to be happy.

Why can't I be happy?

Why can't I say the truth?

Why is it that only lies, hurtful and twisted lies, comes out from this mouth?

WHY?

It should be easy for me.

I'm better.

I'm better than them.

He should be the one suffering.

He should be the one suffering!

I had a friend.

A real friend.

I met him when I was born.

His name was Len.

I liked Len. I liked him a lot. I thought I loved him. He was my brother…he was my best friend after all.

We were close.

We were close..

We grew up.

I killed him.

I killed him.

I killed him.

I killed him.

I want to kill him.

He was my friend.

He's not my friend.

I hate.

Hate.

Hate.

Hate.

Hate.

Destroy.

Kill.

**I have to destroy him.**


	6. Drowning

_Guys. I'm getting bored of Winter Air. I can't write anything for it. e_e. I'll try my best for now. But have another chapter of this and I have no idea where in the world this story is going but I want to write a fanfic for Karakuri Burst. LOL._

* * *

><p><strong><em><span>Difference.<span>_**

* * *

><p>I feel like I'm drowning.<p>

Drowning in an endless ocean somewhere far away.

A bottomless ocean….the surface is too far away.

I can't breathe.

It's too painful to breathe. I'll die soon. Die.

I feel like I'm drowning

Drowning in a bottomless ocean filled with words.

Words. I can't read them. It's too painful to breathe. I'm beginning to lose myself.

Someone please save me!

I want to scream it out. I force my trembling lips open to cry out for help, but no words come out.

I lose my breath and I lose my consciousness.

No one will save me.

It used to be a nightmare. A terrible nightmare.

No one will save me, no one will save me.

It's reality.

I know that now. It's the painful reality.

I'm scared. I'm really scared.

If she drowned, someone would save her right away.

No one will save me.

I can't even save myself.

I hate this.

I feel pathetic.

I am pathetic.

No wonder.

No wonder?

No wonder they compare me to her.

That girl.

Sometimes I could see her in the water with me. Involuntarily, I'd reach out my hand to her.

Foolish.

That was foolish.

Sometimes she'd have a knife or a pair of scissors in her hands, and sometimes she'd pierce it straight into my heart.

It's reality.

I'm scared. I'm scared.

"Who are you?"

The voice echoes over and over inside my brain, tearing at it bit by bit.

"You're not her."

"You're not her!"

I start to wonder when I'll finally lose it.

Or have I already?

She pretends.

She fakes.

She pretends to be a good person, a good sister to me in front of the eyes of strangers and even those close to us.

Or her rather.

I'm not a bad person. I know I'm not an evil person. I know I'm not bad.

I'm not a good person. I'm far from a good person. I know that.

She's a bad person. She's an evil person.

I hate her.

I hate her.

Why do I have to suffer so much while she can do everything with ease!

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

What am I doing?

I sit alone.

Alone in that room that I thought was mine.

Alone. Alone. Forever.

In this dark world.

And my hands.

These horrible hands these hands that look like hers but are in fact not hers, they're tainted.

In that disgusting red color.

This is weird.

Weird.

Really weird.

Why am I doing this?

I won't.

I can't.

I'm not bad.

I'm not bad.

I'm not bad.

Why am I holding this?

It's because,

What is the real reason?

Must it be explained?

I don't care if they hate me anymore.

I don't care.

_I don't care._

_I hate her._

_I hate her._

_I hate her._

_I must kill her._


	7. Kill me

_Working on Your Song. lolorz. In the meantime, enjoy a rather short update of this short story._

* * *

><p><em><strong><span>Difference.<span>**_

* * *

><p>This is strange.<p>

I didn't think he'd go this far.

I didn't think he'd go that far.

So the feeling is mutual now is it?

Good.

That's how it should be.

I envy you, while you envy me

I hate you while you hate me.

I want to kill you, while you want to kill me.

Mutual.

It's all mutual isn't it?

They weren't home.

I was only home.

Alone.

He came.

With a knife.

His hands were bloody as if he'd been holding that knife for a while.

Foolish.

Did I provoke him this far?

He can't stand it anymore can he.

The reflection is trying to hard to become one with reality.

The shadow is trying to break away.

It's all foolish.

I could only smile.

You won't kill me, won't you?

No, not at all.

You'd never kill me.

Because you need me.

"It's because you need me." I say out loud.

He looks at me surprised.

It's as if that foolish tongue of his can't produce words anymore.

"I'm sick of this!" He cries.

I see tears.

Why is he crying?

I laugh. I'm terrible.

"Are you? What are you going to do? They'll hate you if you kill me!" I laugh harder.

I'm foolish.

We're different.

He is black, and I am white.

He is the dog and I am the cat.

He is good, and I am evil.

We are very different.

"You don't even care at all!" He screams.

"Why would I? I hate you!" I scream back.

I hate you.

I hate you.

I hate you so much.

I have to kill you before you kill me.

I felt my back crash into the hard ground.

He is on top of me.

He is on top of me and he is raising that knife.

Towards me.

End it all.

Go ahead. End it all here, and just see what happens you piece of trash.

I feel hot tears drop on my face.

Drip, drop, drip, drop, drip, drop, plop.

It reminds me of the dark spring mornings when it'd rain endlessly.

Those days, are far away.

"What are you waiting for? Are you perhaps…scared?" I mock.

His expression changes.

It changes into something I'm not familiar with.

What shall I call it?

"I.." He raises the knife higher.

Drip, drop, the blood from his hands drop onto my clothing.

Drip, drop.

Transparency mingling with crimson.

Drip, drop.

"If you hate me so much, why don't you kill me?" I whisper, smiling.

His expression changes again.

"Kill me."

Kill me.

Kill me.

Kill me.

Kill me.

That's the way it should be.

The clattering of a knife echoes through out the cold and dead silent room.

I am still alive.

And I will always be alive.

I'll be alive during life, and I'll be alive during hell.

That's the only place I'm going.

I'm a bad person.

We are different.

He is Black, and I am White.

He is the dog, and I am the cat.

I am still a child and he has grown up.

**He has a heart, while I remain heartless.**


	8. Lost

_**Difference.**_

* * *

><p>Tears.<p>

They don't stop. They never stop.

Tears.

Tears for what?

I have no idea anymore.

Tears because I am sick of it.

Tears because I hate her.

Tears because I can't kill her.

I can't do it.

To sink to such a low level, am I really that much of a horrible person?

I don't care any more.

That girl.

That night, I cried because I couldn't kill _that girl._

I could regret it now.

I could regret it later.

I keep throwing my regrets endlessly.

"Why don't you kill me?" She mocks as I drop the knife, the loud clattering of it hitting against the floor grating against my ears.

It feels as if my arms no longer had the bones, and my support was now crushed as I buried myself into her clothing.

"I can't do it, I can't do it." I cried.

Over.

And over.

I am foolish.

There's a reason why we're different.

She remains silent as I can not stop the endless sobs escaping these lips.

I'm only a shadow.

And she is the person.

I am just a reflection.

No one would care any more.

No one can understand it anymore.

And then I felt pain.

An incredibly painful feeling spreading through out my body.

The smell of tears, the smell of despair, the smell of hatred, the smell of blood.

It filled this room.

"I am the only one." She whispers.

And I now realize what has happened.

She has killed me, before I have killed her.

The knife that I had failed to use, the knife that fell to the floor was now injected into my skin.

It hurts.

It doesn't hurt.

It hurts.

Do you hate me so much?

Why?

Why?

Why do you hate me.

I never did anything to deserve your hatred.

I want to become close to my sister.

Foolish.

It's all stupidity.

Rotting my brain.

Rotting my heart.

I scream out in pain as she plunges it deeper into me.

"I am white and you are black. I am the cat and you are the dog. I am reality, you are the reflection. We are both foolish children. We are very different."

The last words that I could hear.

The last words.

The words that were carved into my brain.

We are different.

I knew that from the very beginning.

I knew it so well.

That girl.

_That girl._

If I were to do something, they would compare me to _that girl. _

It didn't bother me when I was young. I didn't bother me after that. It bothers me now. It bothers me a lot. It was only normal for people to compare siblings, wasn't it?

"He tried to kill her, but she succeeded in killing him."

That's probably what they're thinking.

We're different.

"I need you as much as you need me." I manage to say.

The pain only increases.

Not because the knife is stabbing me,

But because she hated me so much as to kill me.

That's how things were supposed to be, right?

I was supposed to die in the end, right?

She was supposed to live on.

They wouldn't care if I was dead anyways.

No one would.

I'm sick of this.

I'm so sick of all this.

I can end it all now.

I hate.

I hate.

I hate.

I hate.

I hate this all.

I hate you.

I hate you.

I hate her.

I hate this.

I hate myself.

I hate.

Hate.

Hate.

Hate.

Hate.

I hate her.

"I am white and you are black. I am the cat and you are the dog. I am reality, you are the reflection. We are both foolish children. We are very different."

I slip into the void.

_**But it's not the end yet.**_


	9. Confusion

_Repetitive word choice is repetitive. Non-elaborate and lazy._

* * *

><p><strong><em><span>Difference.<span>_**

* * *

><p>Monday. Number one.<p>

Tuesday. Number two.

Wednesday. Number three.

Thursday. Number four.

Friday. Number five.

Saturday. Number six.

Sunday. Number seven.

Repeat it over again.

January. Start.

February. Continue.

March. Go on.

April. And on.

May. Carry over.

June. It's the center.

July. Pass it by.

August. Through.

September. Falling.

October. Dark.

November. Almost gone.

December. End it all.

Repeat the cycle.

Time is going slowly. Was time ever moving in the first place? If it did, I'd rather have it move quickly.

I want each moment to pass by in flashes of seconds.

I want each moment and memory to enter and leave no later than a millisecond.

Time stopped.

The clock doesn't tick anymore.

That familiar tick tock tick tock, I can't hear it anymore.

What day is it? What year is it?

Who am I? Where am I?

What am I? What's my purpose?

Why am I still alive?

The hands of fate decided to spin one more time.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Why?

Why?

Why!

It would have been better without me.

Why.

Why.

Why.

Why.

Why am I still alive?

I could have ended it there. Right there.

Why?

What am I talking about? What am I thinking about? Memories?

Memories…? What are my memories….?

I open my eyes. My eyelids are heavy and I want to close my eyes again.

I must know.

White.

Everything is white.

The sterile white walls and ceiling of an unfamiliar place greet me.

Where am I? How did I get here?

The question echoes endlessly in my brain.

"We are different."

The phrase overpowers my thoughts.

Whose voice is that?

It hurts.

It hurts a lot.

Why am I alive? I mouth the words.

It hurts.

Everything hurts.

I'm in a hospital.

But no one is here.

It's just me and the white walls.

Alone.

Alone.

Alone.

Somehow, the sound of that word, I like it.

My whole body feels sore, as if someone had stabbed me a million times with a knife.

It hurts to move.

Struggling, I reach out to the ceiling.

Tick.

Huh?

Tock.

My head hurts.

I see a girl.

She's very pretty. Who is she?

I'm looking down at her. What am I doing?

Tick.

Huh?

Tock.

Blood. I see blood.

Tick.

. . .

Tock.

She smiles menacingly.

What's…happening?

"We are different. That is why, I must live and you must die."

Who is she?

Who…

I'm alive…

Aren't I?

What…is happening?

Kill her.

Kill her.

Kill her.

Hate.

Hate.

Kill.

Destroy.

Envy.

Kill.

Hate.

Hate.

Hate.

Hate.

Hate.

"I'm sorry."

Hate.

Hate.

Hate.

Do I….hate her?

I'm confused. Confused. What happened? What was I doing? What was she doing?

Who is she?


	10. Deep Down

_SORA. STOP CATCHING MY SONG REFERENCES. LOL. The chapters are getting shorter and short. e_e_

* * *

><p><strong><em>Difference.<em>**

* * *

><p>A day turned into a week and that week turned into a month.<p>

Things are normal.

Things are perfectly normal.

He's gone, isn't he? He doesn't exist anymore.

He doesn't exist.

He doesn't exist.

It's just me.

It's just me.

IT'S JUST ME.

No one is noticing. No one.

No one asks what happened to him.

This is the way it should be.

They ask what is wrong with my hand.

I got cut.

That's all.

I was cutting fruits and I got cut.

They believe me.

They don't need to know. They don't need to know.

If they find out . . . Will they hate me?

No, that's impossible.

No one can hate me.

No one.

Everyone hates me.

I know it.

Good.

I hate them too.

I am by myself.

Alone.

Alone.

Alone.

All alone.

I exist alone.

I doesn't matter.

We're all humans.

We're all foolish.

Shouldn't we just die?

That's how it should be.

We don't deserve existence.

Why is the world cruel?

I didn't mean to kill him.

I didn't mean to.

It was impulse.

An accident.

An accident.

It was on purpose.

Driven by envy and hate.

Everything.

Greed.

Hate.

Envy.

That is how our world works.

He's alive.

No.

No.

No.

NO!

WHY

WHY IS HE ALIVE?

I WANT HIM DEAD.

Isn't it good to kill these things?

Things that we don't need anymore?

Maybe I should die.

Maybe I should.

Maybe I should.

The room spins around me as if I am turning and spinning around and around and around.

What's wrong with me?

Visit.

Shall I pay him a visit?

I'm confused.

Where…

"Who are you?" A boy asks me.

He has the same face. The same hair. The same eyes.

No they are not the same.

We are different.

Different.

WE'RE DIFFERENT!

He doesn't remember.

Would it be good to leave him as he is?

Forget him.

If he has forgotten, then we will forget him.

Tears.

I remember tears.

That night.

He was crying.

He couldn't do it.

Why?

Why?

If you hate me so much, kill me.

Kill me and end it all.

We're different.

We're different.

That heart belongs to you.

I am left empty.

Empty.

Everything feels empty.

What is the reason for me to live?

Destroy.

Kill.

We're different.

We're different.

We'll always be different.

We'll never ever be the same.

Ever.

Ever.

Ever.

Ever.

EVER.

But deep down.

Down down down.

I love you. Because you are my brother.


	11. Insanity

_So I died for like...a month or two. Procrastination has been eating my brain lately. Still blocked on Winter Air. Probably won't update that until like 2089._

* * *

><p>Spiraling.<p>

Spinning.

It's all out of control.

One by one, one by one.

Sanity. Insanity.

What's real? What's fake?

I know her. I don't know her.

This happened. It didn't happen.

What happened?

I'm confused.

Confused.

So Confused.

Help me.

Save me.

I'm drowning.

Drowning…in an endless sea of words.

Thick. It's too thick. I can't breathe.

Help me!

I don't want to die.

I don't-

Kill.

The word echoes through my mind and bleeds through everything.

Stop.

Stop.

STOP!

I don't want to hate. I don't want to kill.

Why…

Why is it like this?

"He won't recover any time soon."

"He doesn't have much time left."

"Useless."

Useless?

What's going on?

Are…they talking about me?

Opening my eyes to be greeted by the blinding white light.

I'm still alone.

All alone.

"This is what you wanted didn't you? To be alone? To have people worry over you? To exist?" The voice is familiar and rings in my ears.

Over.

And.

Over.

I hate this voice.

This voice is filled with hate.

I turn to see a girl.

The same girl.

Destroy.

Kill.

Hate.

Envy.

My head hurts.

"Do you remember your place?" She remains indifferent.

That cold stare.

It hurts.

It hurts so much.

I open my mouth to speak.

My throat is dry.

I can't find words.

Shut it.

Don't talk.

It won't do anything.

"I am the cat. You are a nothing but a pathetic stray dog. I am white. You are black, a disgusting eyesore.

You are a child. A child who can't move on and can't do anything for yourself. We are different."

The words ring in my ears

Over.

And over.

Stop.

STOP!

Spiraling.

Spinning.

It's all out of control.

One by one, one by one.

Sanity. Insanity.

Insanity.

It's driving me insane.

IT'S DRIVING ME INSANE.

Blood.

What have I done?

Stop this.

STOP THIS!

"If you continue this way you'll break like a useless toy. You're already bleeding." She whispers.

Stop.

Please.

Please.

Ah.

That's right.

You.

"Do you hate me that much Rin?" It comes out as a scratchy and high pitched scream.

She hesitates.

"Yes. I hate you this much. This much that I kept you alive so you could suffer. We're different after all."

I want to kill her.

But.

I can't.

"It hurts." I answer.

It hurts so much.

I love you so much.

I hate you so much.

"Bitter-sweet. Who is the bitter side? Who is the sweet?"

"It's like a riddle."

The door closes and I'm left alone.

Out of breath.

Tears.

I don't hate you.

I don't love you.


	12. Involuntary

_It begins to get shorter by every chapter. _

* * *

><p>It's that day.<p>

Monday?

Tuesday?

It's that day.

Wednesday?

Thursday?

Friday?

Saturday?

It's the day?

Is it Sunday?

Does it matter?

He's out of the hospital.

They say he'll be fine.

For how long will this precious little person be fine?

A day?

An hour?

A minute?

A second?

I'll kill him.

He has to die.

Any time.

Mother and father.

Do they notice? Do they notice him now that he's hurt?

He's an eyesore.

A burden on our family.

How much do those hospital bills cost?

They look frustrated.

How would they feel if they found out that it was me who hurt him rather than an attempted suicide?

I had a brother.

When we were little, we held hands.

We talked to each other.

We loved each other.

We grew up.

We try to hurt each other.

We can't talk to each other.

We hate and we love.

It's hard.

We're different.

I know that.

I KNOW THAT!

Envy.

Envy.

They bother me.

They bother me a lot.

About things like "I heard your brother attempted suicide?"

Does it matter?

Things happen.

Move on.

No.

I can't.

I'm stuck.

I'm stuck in this never ending nightmare.

Tears.

And the smell of blood.

Shadows looming over my body.

Unable to stop this cruel heart from beating.

What did I do?

I did what he should have done.

Today is the day.

He's let out of the hospital.

Home is silent.

Silent like always.

No one bothers me about him anymore.

They didn't care anyways.

"Is he okay?"

Go away.

Go away.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Words echo in my brain.

I'm sorry.

I love you.

Let's go back to the past.

Stupid thoughts.

Go away.

It's almost like a plague.

"Kill me."

He says.

What?

"Why?" I ask.

"Isn't that what you wanted."

He holds out a knife and smiles.

"End this shallow life."

The character changes.

Along with time.

Things change.

People change.

It's human.

It's only only human.

Hate.

Greed.

Envy.

I want to grab that knife.

Pierce it through that heart.

But I can't.

Why?

WHY?

"This is what you wanted right?"

Spinning.

Spiraling.

Out of control.

It happened, but it didn't happen.

Sanity. Insanity.

Complete madness.

Your body acts on it's own and rejects your mind.

Driving me completely insane.

Blood.

Clattering.

Laughing.

Screaming.

Life is a waste of space.

Die.

Insanity.

Sanity.

Equality.

**Difference.**


	13. Difference

_Could it possibly over? Winter Air is getting on my nerves. OTL_

* * *

><p>Red.<p>

It's a lovely color isn't it?

Lovely.

Beautiful.

Disgusting.

Horrid.

Lovely.

Disgusting.

Beautiful.

Scary.

Pretty.

Things get underhand if you can't handle the world properly.

Humanity.

Inhumanity.

Sanity.

Insanity.

I remember.

I remember everything.

She's better.

I'm nothing.

I'm envious.

I hate this.

I hate this.

Remember me.

I need someone.

Love.

A word in which the definition is unknown to someone like me.

Hate.

The word my world revolves around.

Affection.

A word that I lack.

Jealousy.

It eats at my brain.

It was innocent at first.

Nothing was wrong.

I could only hate from afar.

And then.

Everything.

Changed.

Dramatically.

Things change.

People change.

The hands of time do not stop for you.

I am the same.

I am different.

Seeing as we what we are coming to now . .

We're rather similar aren't we?

We cry.

We love.

We hate.

We die.

That's how life should be.

I know that now.

There wasn't a reason for me to live.

If there isn't a reason for me, why should there be one for you?

WE'RE THE SAME.

EXACTLY THE SAME.

One of us needs to die.

I'll kill you before you kill me.

Vice versa.

As we go on, I realized.

I realized the real meaning.

Let's end it all right now.

"I miss the old times."

We can't say that now.

That voice will never reach you.

Why don't we just kill each other?

Insanity takes over your brain.

"Kill me."

"Why?" she says.

"Isn't that what you wanted." The words escape my lips. Though it is not formed as a question.

It's what we both want.

Once I'm dead, you're dead.

What a pitiful life.

I was jealous of her.

When I was young.

I had a sister.

She was my twin sister.

We were close. We were very close.

Things changed.

We grew up.

We're the same. We're different.

Spinning.

Spiraling.

Out of control.

It happened, but it didn't happen.

Sanity. Insanity.

Complete madness.

Your body acts on it's own and rejects your mind.

Driving me completely insane.

Blood.

Clattering.

Laughing.

Screaming.

I am screaming. She is screaming.

I am laughing, and she is crying.

Blood.

Shall I stain this place in that wonderful color?

A knife drops to the floor, clattering.

A body drops to the floor, sobbing.

A body drops to the floor, silently.

This is how things should be.

Forever.

Forever.

For eternity.

I will love you, my dear dear sister.

Forever…and always.

We will lay in this heap of beautiful color.

Because we are exactly the same.

That girl.

_That girl._

If I were to do something, they would compare me to _that girl. _

It didn't bother me when I was young. I didn't bother me after that. It bothers me now. It bothers me a lot. It was only normal for people to compare siblings, wasn't it? Was it normal for your parents to favor one over the other?

She was better.

Was she better?

She looks down on me, as if she were the queen and I were the servant. She probably laughs at how foolish I am for even trying. She probably laughs at my existence.

I don't like her.

Everyone forgot about it.

About me.

About everything.

Let's forget it all.

There is a difference between us.

I am Black, she is White.

I am the dog, and she is the cat.

I am still a child, and she has grown up.

We are very different.

If I look in the mirror, I see my face. I hate this face so much. I want to look like her again.

If I look in the mirror, I see my hair. The same yellow tone and the same exact length as always. Disappointing.

If I look in the mirror, I see those eyes. I want to keep staring at these eyes. These wonderful…wonderful eyes.

We are different.

I don't like her.

I don't like her at all.

She makes me sick.

I am jealous of her.

I know that too well. We mirror each other perfectly, do we? Who is the reflection, and who is the reality?

I look in the mirror and stare at my reflection. A girl who is only a poor mimic of me. It's quite amusing.

Say,

If I were to speak…

Would you be my echo?

Would you be my shadow?

We are very different.

Is there a reason for someone like me to live?

There's two of us. If one of us died…what would happen?

If I died, she'll die too.

We are the same.

We are different.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Repeat those words over and over.

Replay it like a song in my head.

I hate this.

I hate this loneliness so much.

I hate it.

I hate her.

I hate it.

Sanity.

Insanity.

Equality.

And…

**The difference between us.**


End file.
